I have spent far too much of the past week involved in various knit vs. crochet arguments on Ravelry, ranging from... ridiculous to more ridiculous, but it's okay. I've worked through it now, and I can even show you how.
The Five Stages of Grief Over the Relative Unpopularity of Crochet
Stage 1 -- Denial. "There must be other crocheters out there... somebody said somewhere that there are three times as many crocheters as knitters. I don't know who said it, but I've heard it everywhere so it must be true!"
Stage 2 -- Anger. "What is wrong with all these knitters? Why don't they like crochet? Why do some of them make fun of crochet? What's wrong with them? Is the Mad Crocheter going to have to choke a bitch?!"
Stage 3 -- Bargaining. "I can show people! I can get knitters to love crochet too! I can crochet really cool things and learn to design and then they'll all see that crochet is cool too!"
Stage 4 -- Depression. "This sucks. I'm going to quit Ravelry. And hide under a rock. A really big rock. No wait, screw that. I'll just hide under my yarn. It's softer."
Stage 5 -- Acceptance. "Ah well... now I have more time to crochet!"